F My Life

[Bronson]

www.fmylife.com

Anyone else ever read this site? It's pretty much the funniest thing ever. Some of the stories are sad, but most of tem is just hilarious. Here's an example:

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was ok until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he proceeded to whip out 5 yoyos and do a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

Its gold Jerry, gold!

 

[Bronson]

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

 

[Logan]

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[Bronson]

I think this is the winner.

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have sex with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

 

[Tarvis]

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

 

[Tarvis]

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I like this thread

 

[Bayli]

http://mylifeiscrap.com/ is pretty much like that.

 

[Bronson]

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

 

[Bronson]

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

Today, I was waiting to watch some Jedi and a chick get killed gladiator style, but then a Jedi Taskforce came to attempt to rescue them. I watched my dad get trampled by a reek, and then get his fucking head chopped off by a nigger Jedi with a purple lightsaber. A faggot nigger Jedi. FML

 

[Bronson]

Best thing I've ever read.

 

[Dave]

Might as well stop posting now, because nothing is gonna touch that.

Epic.

 

[Bronson]

Honestly. Amazing.

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

I'm sure we can come up with some other fake ones.

 

[Logan]

I dunno that was pretty godly.

 

[SuperAfroBoy]

So today I went over to Cloud City to help out a few buddies of mine, and I got shot at by a god damned bounty hunter. As if that wasn't bad enough, I met up with Vader, pretty much the biggest, baddest dude around. I thought I held my own against him, but then he fucking cut off my hand. Jesus fuckin' Christ, dude. He didn't even warn me! Thats not even the worst part, then he lays a megashit on me and tells me he's my dad. Gee thanks, daddio, you coulda told me that before you made me a fucking amputee. FML

meh, not as good as the first one, but whatever.

 

[Logan]

I dunno that one is pretty good too.

The boba fett one was great cause i had to read it like 1.5 times before i realized what the fuck was going on.

 

[Bronson]

I actually read "a faggot nigger Jedi" before I read anything else and knew exactly what it was talking about.

 

[Bronson]

Today, someone smashed my face into a car windshield, and then took my mother out for a nice seafood dinner, and never called her again. FML.